A random two chapters from the book I have been writing: a collection of short stories:
What did you get for Christmas?
In primary school, after the Christmas break, the teacher would go around the full class and ask what we got for Christmas. Sitting in a big circle on the floor, each person would take turns to share with the class ‘what Santa brought them’. One year, when I was maybe around 11 years old, I remember feeling totally overwhelmed by everyone's presents. Computers, TVs, Gameboy ADVANCES, full-on arts and crafts sets. In the moment, when I was asked what I got for Christmas, I made something up. Something that does not even exist! I wanted to fit in, I wanted to feel included and the same as everyone else. (I have never shared this with my mum and hope it does not hurt her feelings now that I am writing about it). But I truly thought this was a great idea. Thinking I would get away with a wee white lie and we would just move on to the next person and no one would remember. I said I got a TV that slides into my roof, I had a bunk bed at this point, with a wee desk at the bottom. I said the TV was in my celling, and I could just look up and watch TV. The most random thing ever. “Wow,” people said, “that is sooo cool”. At break, people came up to me and started asking me to come around and see it. I remember my friend coming up to me and saying, “I can’t wait to come and stay with you, so we can watch TV on your ceiling!” Ohh the fear that washed over me in that moment. I was so scared and embarrassed that I made it up. I didn’t want to tell my mum because she might feel bad that I felt I had to lie, and I did not want to admit to my friends that I just made it up. I cannot remember the outcome of this story, but I remember the feeling, the feeling of having to lie to fit in and feel ok.
I would never ever repeat this kind of activity with young people. I remember when I was working as a youth worker, hearing one of my colleagues suggest after the Christmas holidays, “let’s start by asking everyone what they got for Christmas”. I was so thankful for my experience in that moment. I said I really don’t think that is a good idea, I explained my experience and said I understood that there were good intentions behind asking, however, it can lead to children and young people comparing themselves, feeling left out or less than. It is not worth it, let’s just ask individually rather than in a big group.
Inequality, environment & mental health
During my MSc, I delivered a presentation on the impact of inequality on mental health and addiction. Specifically, focusing on male mental health in Scotland. I handed out google earth pictures of the street I grew up in and made an “argument” that our living environment can have a significant impact on our mental health and well-being. I pointed to the tall, grey, squashed maisonettes (my childhood home, the one my mum still stays in) and argued that living conditions, combined with poverty, stress, and uncertainty exasperates mental health. Our home is meant to be our sanctuary, a place we feel comfort, safety, and warmth. However, crowding people together that are already going through a hard time is not a recipe for good mental health and does not bring out the best side of people, it does not allow people to flourish if their basic needs are not met.
Council estates, schemes, high rise flats; deprived communities living below the poverty line creates problems, whether it is the root of the problem or a symptom of a bigger issue is debated and explored in many books, a great one being Poverty Safari. However, in this book I just wanted to outline and highlight that living with people who are struggling creates stress. Stress impedes so much of life and our mental and physical health.
A few great books exploring these issues in more detail: The Spirit Level, The Inner Level- How More Equal Societies Reduce Stress, Restore Sanity and Improve Everyone's Well-being by Kate Pickett and Richard G. Wilkinson and Poverty Safari by Darren McGarvey. All three books offer different perspectives on the impact of inequality on individuals and society. In the Spirit Level and Inner Level, Kate and Richard argue that inequality impacts everyone in society. Contrary to the general consensus or popular narrative of inequality being a concentrated problem of the ‘disadvantaged’. Kate and Richard provide data to show that inequality is intrinsically linked with more problems in society. Countries with higher rates of inequality have significantly more problems from mental illness; higher rates of depression, anxiety, more social problems, i.e., crime, etc. Inequality alone is not the problem. It is the gap between people that causes the issue. For example, a poorer country where everyone is on the same level has higher rates of well-being and lower rates of crime, etc. Whereas countries like the UK and the US have much higher rates of income inequality, affluence with lower rates of well-being, and higher rates of social problems.
This makes perfect sense in my connected, dyslexic mind. We are tribal, social beings. Inequality highlights our differences, it separates us, makes us compare and feel less than. It dissolves feelings of connectedness and community and replaces it with tension, judgment, and otherness. We need a sense of belonging and to feel a part of something. The more we separate, the more disconnected and isolated we become. Inequality is not the sole problem in our society, however, it is the dark underbelly, to which a lot of our problems manifest and grow.
I think it is important to connect our lives with academic research. Not to be a victim of our circumstances or to create excuses. But, to understand ourselves and our barriers and understand our society better. To develop compassion for ourselves and others. Most importantly, to create change. To work with and understand the trajectory of society today. To see that if we continue to seek happiness through material wealth, the gap of inequality will just get wider, we will feel less connected as a worldwide community of humans and our mental and physical well-being will continue to worsen.
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