The life long journey of self-love and self-acceptance, quick blether I had to write out on the train to work this morning…
The idea for this blog came to me last night (4th of March, 2019) when I was out on a run. I decided to run without earphones- which always sparks internal chatter. When podcasts are removed from my ears, I always end up having a conversation with myself, sometimes I get creative and come up with new ideas other times I am full of negative self-talk, continually doubting myself and my ability.
Listening to podcasts or music is way more comfortable. However, I know that I need that time to be outside in nature, without distractions to think and process life.
Last night, the chatter started pretty negative. It grows out of years of previous self-doubt and negative self-talk. To give you some background, I have recently put on around 10kg of weight. Although, this has been a positive change physically, mentally it has been tough. It has been a battle in my brain, from “this a positive for my physical health” to “I am a hippopotamus”- although I know deep down this is not true, my brain has created a very unkind, false self-image.
To be honest I have always struggled with body image, not because I was constantly concerned about how I looked, but more so because I was concerned about how fast I could run. This created a really bad relationship with food, my body, running, exercise, my relationships, my social life… the list goes on and on. ~topic for another blog
Back to the run last night.. I realised or heard properly for the first time a voice screaming at me Don’t feel ashamed or scared to be who you are, right now in this very moment you are ok. Don’t be scared to walk, hop, skip, jog, sprint, lift heavy, lift “light”, do a downward dog that looks unique and different. Don’t judge yourself for how you do it, just show up and move YOUR BEAUTIFUL BODY- the way that FEELS GOOD to you, not the way you think you should move or look. Don’t allow the negative mind chatter to stop you doing things you love or stop you trying new things. Just love that you have a beautiful body that allows you to move and live life.
- Wow I needed to hear that!
Focus on the enjoyment, what feels good today? Does a long walk in nature feel good? or a relaxing yin yoga class or maybe staying in bed with a book- as long as staying in bed all day doesn’t become the everyday... it might just be what you need. Try and think about what actions you can take everyday to love yourself- which I believe starts with how we view and talk to ourself.
Social media, (for me) especially Instagram is constantly pushing out the idea that getting the perfect body takes time and it’s a life long journey. People post pictures of their bodies, with quotes about progression, dedication, hard work and not expecting instant results. I feel like this is sending out a warped message about how we should feel in our body’s day to day. Most of the people posting about their bodies are not posting from self-love, they are still unhappy with how they look. We might want to smooth out the curves, shrink bits and build bits up and that is ok. But really that doesn’t matter, it feels like it matters- we say once we get to this size, we will be happy. But we will always want to change something.
Motivation to grow and develop is important. But not to the point where it makes us feel inadequate or interferes with how we feel day to day.
What we look like is really forgotten about moments after you meet someone anyway... It is how you are as a person that matters. Loving yourself and being confident in your body is not determined by how your body looks. It is an internal glow that radiates from how you feel about yourself. I have had first hand experience of having abs, striated muscles and a whole lotta self-doubt.
“Self-love is actually the least selfish thing we can do”. This has taken me a long time to believe (still working on it). But, really if we love ourselves, we can be our best self and fully show up for others. If our cup is full and over flowing, we have plenty to give others. If our cup is near empty, we have nothing to give. Or what we give will not be a true representation of who we really are.
I am still working on this every day, actually writing about it is a really helpful way of trying to make it REAL.
Before I finish, I want to share with you three daily habits that have allowed me to practice self-love and feel it more often…
1. Walking or running out in nature every day. Being out in nature is the biggest component of this practice. Being outside, surrounded by the sounds of wildlife brings feelings of peace that is truly hard to replicate anywhere else.
2. Dancing; with your feet glued to the ground, your eyes closed and an amazing music track playing. A new but transformative daily practice that my beautiful teacher Charlotte Esme taught us during our first yoga teacher training.
At first you may feel restricted and tense but after a few minutes you start to feel the rhythm of the music, your body starts to loosen, and you feel truly liberated. Try and let go, move your body in anyway that feels good- keeping your feet secure to the ground. When you notice you are starting to do the same movements (because our body loves patterns of behavior), change it up, feel the music and let go. Sounds crazy, but wow it is powerful. Try it, you have nothing to lose and oh so much to gain!
3. Breathing (Pranayama) and Mediation; during my time as long-distance runner, I thought I practiced active mediation. After around 1 hour of continuous running, I was able to experience a flow state. I often had visualizations and sometimes completely forgot I was running (sounds a bit crazy when I write this down haha).
Sitting still, being at one with my breath and my body was a whole other challenge. I recognised that I was running away from all of my internal negative chatter, and what I really needed to do was sit with it, listen and let go.
Start where you are, try 2 minutes of sitting still, focusing on your breath; which many people say but do not fully explain… focus on what it feels like to breath, how does it feel to inhale air into your lungs and exhaling it back out into the world.
There are many ways of developing a meditation practice. Right now, I am working with the idea or metaphor that I am the sky and my thoughts are cloud. The thoughts with always come and go, I can choose to observe them and watch them disappear.
I am also practicing Sankalpa; a beautiful concept in yogic philosophy that means an intension formed by the heart and mind; similar to a positive affirmation. We make a statement in the first person present tense form “I am…”. The one that I am working on and have been working with for the last month is “I am worthy”. Although this is hard for me to admit and share, I think it is important to be honest and open. Especially as we are all on the same journey of self-acceptance; we are just at different stages. You will know when the Sankalpa has worked, when you embody the Sankalpa, you can move on to a new one.
Sankalpa’s work on many different way. It can create a new neural pathway in your brain, how incredible, we can literally grow and change our own thoughts. Our thoughts become our actions. So, if we believe we are worthy, we will take action and take on behaviors that embody that belief. Nourishing our body and our mind with good things; good food, movement, things that truly enrich our lives; because we are all WORTHY, we just have to realise it. Our mind has to realise this truth.
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